Nas's Baby Mama (Carmen Bryan) Speaks on How She Helped Nas Break Jay Z Down on Ether

One of the biggest rap beefs of all time was caused by a woman, and apparently, that same woman helped mold one of the greatest rap beef songs in Hip Hop history- Ether. Yup!

Although the reason Nas and Jay Z had beef was cos she was sleeping with Jay Z, when she was still with Nas (some times taking Nas's Bentley out to see Jay), she said she didn't like how Jay Z was going at Nas using her cheating ways as ammo, so she decided to help Nas breakdown Jay Z psychologically, because she knew a lot about him.

While explaining her role in the Nas versus Jay Z beef during her recent interview with DJ VLAD, she spoke on how she helped Nas craft Ether.

"Once I realized what Jay was doing, I was like, 'you know, am not going to allow him to belittle Nas anymore. Like, I'm the only person on the planet that can belittle this nigga. I'm not letting anybody else have that opportunity. And so, I just umm! Called Nas and was like 'alright let's talk.' So, I had a conversation with Nas like an attorney would have with their client. And I just basically told him 'listen, if you want to win this case, you're gonna have to go this route.' Cos I knew what type of person Jay Z was. Jay Z is very...he can be insecure. Umm! He has a little bit of low self esteem in certain areas. And, he's sensitive. And I kind of knew what areas to...you know...we all have sensitivities...we all have, you, things about us that we don't necessarily want the public to know about and I told Nas 'this is your opportunity to do whatever you need to do, but you have to do it all in one song. All of this subliminal...just rock this nigga, and let's move on.'...I told Nas everything that happened between Jay Z and I so that he could write the song consciously knowing what could come back as far as like, you know, a rebuttal." 

That was a chess move right there. That was why Super Ugly didn't have such an impact, because Nas already knew what was coming, He knew Jay Z's biggest weapon in the beef was that he had slept with his baby mama. But Nas's biggest weapon was that he had someone on his side that knew all the little intricate details about Jay Z. That's why, apart from stating a lot of facts and dropping the heavy diss lines on Ether, Nas had the funny lines like "Dick sucking lips" attacking Jay's secret insecurities. Lines like "were you abused as a child, scared to smile, they called you ugly" and "you no mustache having, with whiskers like a rat" were the real death blows on Ether. Cos they were the things Jay  had shared with Carmen Bryan in private. They were the things that made Jay Z's soul burn slow. They were the things that made him almost cry on Angie Martinez show shortly after Ether came out. 

Nas's Baby Mama (Carmen Bryan) Talks About Getting Pregnant for Jay Z

In a recent interview of hers, Nas's baby mama, Carmen Bryan spoke about being pregnant for Jay Z at one point in the 90s. For those that don't know her story and how she sparked one of the greatest beefs in Hip Hop history, let me run through her story real quick.

Carmen is legendary music producer, Large Professor's cousin, and Nas was working closely with Large Professor in the early 90s, and at one point, he met Carmen, and they instantly started dating. After a year of dating, they had a child (Destiny Jones) in 1994, Nas dropped Illmatic same year, and blew up on the scene. At this point, Nas is touring, groupies are all around him, and he and Carmen start having problems. And as he starts to neglect her the more, another rapper (Jay Z) started giving her attention. This was around 1997-1998. They started sleeping together, and Carmen Bryan got pregnant for Jay Z.

During the course of her recent interview with DJ VLAD, she was asked if she was ever pregnant for Jay Z, and she answered with...

"Yes. I had a miscarriage...This was before all of that (beef)...I think I was definitely less than three months. It was the first trimester...It wasn't anything crazy. It wasn't planned. It wasn't like 'oh, we gonna have this baby, then move forward with our...' No." 






That would have been one very odd situation. I mean, Jay Z and Nas having kids by the same woman. I bet Beyonce wouldn't have gotten into Jay Z's life if that had happened. I guess some things happen for a reason. 

Pics of Nas's Daughter, Destiny

I remember listening to The Firm album (back in 1997), and hearing Nas talk about his daughter and AZ's kid being the same age; 3 years old at the time. Men! I can't believe Destiny Jones is now 21 years old...All grown up...Older than Nas when he dropped Illmatic back in 1994. Checkout some of her current pics below.

Does Beyonce Really Have Bad Breath?

I was just listening to Slaughterhouse's "Truth or Truth" again this afternoon, and I heard that part of Royce Da 5'9's verse were he rapped..."Fame turned my life upside down, I guess it was meant to be, like passing Beyonce a Tic-Tac/And this ain't a diss, this way more to me than a diss track."

Nas Celebrates Daughter's Birthday

Nas threw a party for his daughter, Destiny Jones over the weekend as she turned 19. Apparently, she is the same age as Nas's first album, Illmatic. I remember Nas and Carmen had her two months after Illmatic dropped back in 1994. He had barely been dating Carmen Bryan a year before she got pregnant for him.









Mr Nasir Jones took time out of his busy schedule to celebrate his daughter's birthday. He rented a suite at the Ritz Carlton for Destiny and her friends. Check out pics from the night below...see how much Nas's princess has grown-

Chapter From Carmen Bryan's (Nas's Baby Mama) Book

I still can't believe Nas and Jay-Z have squashed their beef. In case you didn't know, one of the causes of the beef was Jay having an affair with Nas's baby mama at the time (around 1999-2001); Carmen Bryan. She wrote a "tell-all" book explaining everything. So, i have lisfted one of the chapters for you guys to check out. I think it is an interesting read...

Chapter 12

Thursday Night- we were on our way to NJ to meet Allen and Marlon. I was so excited and could'nt wait to see to get there. I had butterflies just thinking about being with Allen. I felt very safe in his presence, especially after that night at the Palladium. The more I thought about him, the more anxious I became. A two hundred and fifty mile distant was the only thing keeping us apart. I floored it the whole way to Atlantic City. I was pushing 75mph. Danae, didn't say a word. She sat in the passengers side quietly.

It was a little before midnight when we arrived. We valet parked and entered the hotel. The lobby was filled with ball players. The 76ers, in the flesh. "Wow this is basketball camp!" I thought! As we approached the front desk a few players tried to holla at us. We were both flattered, but Danae especially, loved the attention. She suddenly, had a permanent switch in her hips and even added extra lipgloss. I, on the other hand was focused. I knew who I came to see! I put everyone on mute. After we picked up the key that Allen left for us, we made our way to his suite. I don't know why I was so nervous, I was also praying that when we got to his room that it would be empty, just in case I had to use the bathroom.

I swiped the magnet key and entered. The room was empty and the buttlerflies were gone. Whew! I could breathe again. Since the room was vacant, Danae and I decided to do a little snooping around. First we looked in the waste basket for things like;condom wrappers, phone numbers, strands of hair on the pillows, lipstick on towels, extra toothbrushes, and shit like that. In the midst of the search, without warning the door opened. It was Allen and Marlon. I quickly played it off like I was putting my bags in the closet. "When did y'all get here?" Allen asked. "Just a minute ago." I replied. He grabbed me and gave me the biggest hug and kiss. It felt good to be in his presence. The drive was definitely worth it. It was obvious that we both missed each other, we couldn't stop hugging and kissing.

For the remainder of the evening, we all sipped on Cristal, ordered room service and enjoyed each others company. Allen and Marlon cracked jokes just about all night. We had the best time. The evening started to mellow down when out of no where Danae shouted "So Chuck, whats up with you and this Foxy bitch?" "Huh?" Everything just stopped! I couldn't believe Danae was blowing up the spot. Foxy was definitely number one on my shit list, but there is a time and a place for everything and this was not the time, nor the place to discuss a Foxy beef. Besides just the mention of her name blew my high. Ugh fucking Danae! Allen responded, "Nothing, I met her one time". I watched Allen's body language closely. Danae went on ." Well, I heard her on the radio and she said that you and her were an item and that you bought her a diamond ring and a necklace". Allen jumped out of his seat quick. "Get the fuck outta here, I don't even know that girl" That's when I interjected, "Well she be dropping your name, like she knows you." Whatever innuendo's Foxy or the media tried to portray was abruptly shut down. Allen was on fire. "Look, I said I don't know that girl, I saw her one time at a jewelry spot in Manhattan and we were introduced. That girl don't know me and I don't know her! She can go ahead with all that other shit." Marlon joined in. "Man these damn rappers be bigger groupies than the regular damn groupies."

It was'nt long before we were back on track and having a delightful evening. I was still pissed that Danae opened her big mouth, but then again, I was relieved at the outcome, given the new circumstances. Allen obviously didn't know Foxy and I had had just about enough of her. The bottom line… Foxy was jealous of me. The night was winding down and Danae and Marlon left. Allen and I were finally alone. It was like we both were on the same page, because the minute Danae and Marlon disappeared it was on and poppin! I undressed slowly as he watched. Then he disrobed. His body was sick! He was lean with perfect muscles and natural cuts. He had a lot of scars all over his body, which turned me on even more. He was like a warrior, so rough and had the battle wounds to prove it. He stood naked on the edge of the bed and looked damn near edible. I felt his eyes caress every part of me. I wore a sexy pearl white thong with a matching bra. He was licked his lips and kept his eyes glued to me. After a few moments I was completely naked and my legs were wrapped around his motions. Our lips kissed, hands touched, tongues surfed and juices flowed. Before the night ended we had indulged in four rounds of pure animalistic sexual pleasure.

I was wide open. However as much as I wanted to, I never lost sight of reality. Without any warning all of this could end and I was very much aware of that. I knew there were boundaries. Allen pulled me closer to him and we fell asleep as the sun came up. I woke up a few hours later and he was gone. I had slept so hard that I didn't hear him leave for practice. I jumped in the shower, got dressed and looked for Marlon and Danae. After finding them we went to the mall and shopped for a few hours. When we got back to the suite, Allen had returned from basketball practice. Perfectly timed, he had just gotten out of the shower. I couldn't help but stare at the water beads trickling down his body.

Nor could I could wait for Danae and Marlon to dismiss themselves. Once they were gone round five was in effect. In the middle of our session, Allen asked "Why Nas ain't marry you yet?" I wasn't sure how to respond so I said what came to mind naturally, "Well if he did, I wouldn't be here with you right now." "True." He replied with a smile. We spent the rest of the afternoon napping. That evening we ordered dinner and then hit the casinos. Allen gave me a stack of cash to gamble with, which I split with Danae. He and Marlon headed in one direction and we in the other. Danae and I found a comfortable spot at the Black Jack table and gambled the night away. I had a winning streak, then lost it. At the end of the night, I had broken even. Danae played two games and pocketed the money I had given her. Allen and Marlon weren't having much luck at at the crap table, so they wrapped it up and we all went back to the hotel and crashed.

Allen woke up early and went to practice as I slept in. Later on I met up with Danae. She didn't look so good. Her face was really pale and I could tell something was wrong with her. She mentioned she didn't feel well. Danae rested and Marlon and I hit the Mall. Marlon was my nigga! He was so laid back and down to earth. We got along great. When we returned Allen was back from practice and happy to see me, I might add. Danae on the other hand, had a major attitude. She is very territorial when it comes to her men and was actually angry at that fact that Marlon and I went to the Mall together. What ever Danae! She eventually brushed it off and was back to her normal self. For the rest of the day the four of us watched movies and drank champagne. Danae and I painted our nails while Marlon and Allen played a few games of dice. This was our last night together and I wanted to make the most of it.

When Danae and Marlon left I slipped into a sexy little negligee which ended up on the floor two seconds later. We spent our last night in Atlantic City doing what we did best. The next morning I was awakened by the beeping sound of my pager. It was 7:30am. I picked up my pager, half asleep. It was Nas paging from his mother's house. I looked over at Allen was still asleep.

I didn't bother calling back, I'd have to get up soon anyway and start heading back to New York. The past few days were so wonderful, but the reality was, I'd soon have to face Nas and the madness. Allen started shifting in the bed. It wouldn't be long before he would wake up. I stared at his face as he layed there on his back. I could kiss him over and over and over again. "Good morning." He whispered and gave me a kiss. That quick I forgot about Nas. Allen was very affectionate and couldn't seem to get enough of me. I absolutely loved that.

We had to squeeze in a last minute quicky and then it was time to go. Once we hit New York, I dropped Danae off, then called Mrs Jones. Nas answered. He didn't ask any questions, he just told me to get a hotel suite and he would meet me there in a few hours with Destiny. I went straight home and packed a few things for me and Destiny, then checked into a suite by Lagaurdia Airport. I called Nas and he arrived alone about an hour later. "Where's Des?" I said. I was nervous as hell. "She feel asleep so I left her at my mom's crib." He responded. "Oh, I wanted to see her. I really miss my little Nana. I missed you too.". I added. "Where were you this weekend Carm?" he said with a serious tone. "Huh? Oh, I told you that I was going with Danae to her family reunion, slash BBQ in Pennslyvania." I couldn't even look him in the eye. "Well why couldn't I reach you on your cell phone?" Then he flipped. "You wasn't in no fucking Pennslyvania with Danae. Who were you with Carmen? Just tell me the truth and I won't get mad." The truth was, Nas was beyond mad. His nostrils were flaring and his face was tight and beet red. I had no choice but to stick to my story. I even told him that he could call Danae to verify. "Carm, do I look like a complete idiot?" he yelled.

After about an hour of intense interrogation Nas rolled up a blunt, smoked and calmed down. I even took a few pulls. My nerves were so wrecked at that point. Moments later, Nas was taking off his clothes. "Oh No!" I was ready for anything but sex. I couldn't reject him, so I went along with it. Besides I pretty much knew the routine. When ever Nas returns home from touring he wants to have sex first and then talk about everything else that happened on the road and at home while he was gone.

In the middle of our love making session, Nas caught a crazy attitude. "Something doesn't feel right!" He said. I went along with it and replied "You're, right, something definitely doesn't feel right." I was prepared to flip the script on him. The whole episode was such a turn off and a complete disappointment compared to my last couple of days. I turned over, snatched the covers and pretended to have an attitude as well. Nas and I didn't speak for the rest of the night. Instead, I rewound and relived the wonderful weekend that I spent with Allen and friends. Surprisingly, Shawn ran across my mind. I hadn't spoken to Shawn in about a week and wondered just what he was up to. I made a mental note to call him in the morning, then fell asleep.

The next morning while Nas was still asleep, I quietly dragged his jeans into the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and went through his pockets in search of his cell phone. Got it! Foxy's number. Nas woke up about an hour later and was still pissed. The first words out of his mouth were "Carm, are you gonna tell me who you're seeing or what?" "I already told you, nobody." He cursed me out like I was a complete stranger. He called me all types of bitches, whores, sluts, liars, etc.. Now I was pissed. He had a hell of a lot of nerve as much as he cheated. "First of all you're never home and you never take us anywhere. You're always in the streets hanging out with your stupid ass friends. Maybe if you spent some quality time with your family, there would be no room for suspicion." I screamed. "We're not married, I don't see no ring on this finger. According to your father, we're not obligated, remember?" I had to reminded Nas, that what's good for the goose is also good for the gander. My little speech didn't mean much to him. The bickering was endless and I was emotionally drained.

Later that night, I dropped Nas off at the studio and picked Destiny up from Mrs. Jones. Once Destiny was settled in bed, I grabbed the phone. It was time to make a phone call. The phone rang a couple of times and then some dude answered. "Can I speak to Foxy?" I asked. She was on the other end in less than two seconds. "This is Carmen, look bitch, I don't know what you're problem is but, you don't know me, so stay the fuck out of my business." I could hear the suck in her breath from the verbal assault. A few moments later she whimpered "What the fuck are you talking about?" "You know exactly what I'm talking about. What do you have to gain by telling Nas anything about me Allen Iverson? Bitch, you don't even know me and as a matter of fact you don't even know Allen." I barked. "I do know Allen."she claimed. I cut her off in mid sentence, completely ignoring her attempt to respond. "No, you met him. There's a difference." I said. Condesendingly she replied, "Well I told Nas that you were probably just a one night stand and not to sweat it; and you're right, I don't know you, so I don't owe you shit, Nas is my nigga." "One night?" I laughed. "Bitch, you wish you could get one call, let alone one night, stay out of my mix bitch." Click! She hung up on me. I didn't feel the need to call back, she got the point.

A few weeks later things seemed to be back to normal. Nas was in and out of the studio and I was doing me and raising our daughter. Everything seemed cool, but I wasn't really feeling one hundred percent like my self. Could it be because I was missing Allen? The truth was I was really missing Shawn. I decided that I would play it safe and for the next couple of weeks played the crib close. Nas was still questioning me about my infedelties and it was becoming quite tiring. One evening while doing laundry, I picked Nas's pants up from the floor and his pager fell out. I could hear Nas running up the steps as I viewed the numbers on the small screen. I knew he was returning for his pager so I picked a random number and started dialing. A chick answered! By this time Nas had entered the bathroom. I handed him the phone, still holding the pager. Nas looked puzzles, but none the less, took the phone. "Hello, who's this?" he said. When I heard a females voice through the reciever, I snatched the phone. "How do you know Nas?" I said. The chick on the phone went on about some business that her and Nas were entertaining and some proposal bullshit. I wasn't trying to hear it.

Meanwhile Nas wore this stupid ass look on his face. He could tell I was mad and things were about to get serious. Nas snatched the phone from my ear and attempted to hang up with the girl. It was clear that he was angry and I could feel a rumble about to come on. Before he could swing first, I went in my back pocket and pulled out my pepper spray. I sprayed Nas down as if he were a pitbull. Some how he still managed to get a hold of me and we started fighting. The spray had really taken Nas by surprise and he was doing a lot of coughing and wheezing so naturally I took advantage of having the upper hand. A few minutes later, Nas's two friends Wiz and Spud came running into the bedroom and tried break it up. Now they were coughing and wheezing. I just kept on swinging. I had Nas's QB chain wrapped around my fist, trying to rip it off his neck.

After I finally got Nas's QB chain from around his neck, the fight was over. Nas coughed his way out the door, all the while screaming "You are fucking crazy." After he left I opened all the windows and aired the house out and as crazy as things were a few minutes earlier, I managed to get the house back to normal; before picking Destiny up. I wanted to be with my daughter. Nas called my cell phone and cursed me out. He claimed that I was a nut, and that I need psychiatric help, etc... I apologized and we agreed to meet in front of Rennette's building. Although it was obvious that Nas was doing his thing, I couldn't help but feel bad for making a complete fool out of myself. So an apology was in order. That was my "bad." When I arrived Nas got in my car and we talked for a long while. After our conversation, we went upstairs to Rennette's apartment and picked up Destiny, who was wearing one of Allen's T-shirts as a nightgown. "Rennette, you know that's Allen's T-shirt", I laughed. "Oh well."she chuckled. After Nas and I left, we agreed to go home and put the past behind us.

Things were going good for a while with Nas and I. Foxy eventually told Nas about our conversation and of course he was heated! "Carm, why would you stoop to her level?" You are supposed to be bigger than that." He was right. So I promised to ignore her from now on. According to Nas, Foxy was a lonely, insecure, little girl that liked anybody that showed her any kind of attention. She had a crush on Nas, Jabari, Wizard and everybody else that came through. Nas could not stand Foxy, to be honest no one could. Everyone that knew her or had met her at some point always had something negative to say about Foxy. Her personality was the absolute worst.

The following week Rennette called. She was having problems with her boyfriend Cey. He was cheating on her and Rennette was pissed, but more than anything, she was hurt. He told her that he was going out of town to visit his brother. It was a lie. In fact he was on his way to Shelter Island with some chick. Rennette was in desperate need of a ride. I honestly was'nt in the mood for the drama, but I obliged anyway. Rennette is my girl and she needed me and I wanted to be there for her. We picked Tarja up on the way and arrived at the house on Shelter Island about two hours later. As soon as we drove up we spotted Cey and the chick in the front room through the window. She wore a bra with shorts and Cey had on a T-shirt and sweat pants.

Rennette was on fire. Before I could completely stop the car and park, she jumped out and ran to the front door. Cey was already at the entrance double locking the door. He must have spotted us pulling up into the drive way. Without hesitation Rennette reached down, picked up the biggest rock she could find and threw it through the glass door. Glass shattered everywhere. She reached inside, unlocked the door and busted in. Tarja and I followed behind her. The chick looked at Cey, like "What the fuck is going on?" Before anyone could blink, Rennette punched the girl in the face then turned around and bitch slapped Cey. The chick started swinging on Rennette and that's when Tarja and I jumped in. Rennette was busy pounding the hell out of Cey, who was on the floor at this point trying to block her punches. After a few minutes, the fight stopped. Cey tried his hardest to explain, but Rennette was not having it. In the meantime the girl he was with had tried to sneak in another room and use the phone. Tarja spotted her immediately and pulled her switch blade from her back pocket and cut the phone wire.

The fight was back on. Rennette was back on Cey. Tarja was back on the girl. I was in between both fights, making sure my girls had the upper hand in the situation. Rennette finally let up and said "Cey, pack your shit, because this little vacation is over. We are dropping this bitch off and then me and you are going to finish this later." So they both packed up their things just like Rennette instructed and we all left. Cey drove and Rennette rode in the passenger seat, while the girl sat in the back. Tarja and I followed in my car. We were'nt worried, we knew Rennette could handle both of them. It was crazy, first we all got on the Ferry, then we dropped the chick off in the city.

I felt so ridiculous. What was I thinking? When Rennette and Cey drove off I waved goodbye feeling horrible. I spent the rest of the day playing and coloring with Destiny. Nas came home later that evening and asked for his QB chain. I wasn't ready to give it back and I couldn't say why, but I wanted to hold on to it for some reason. "Nah, you can't get that back." I said with a smile. "But Carm I thought we made up. Why won't you give me the chain? Give me my chain." "Nope." I still refused. He was heated and ran upstairs to our bed room and started searching through everything. I hid the chain in the basement behind the washing machine. I knew he'd never find it. Then he started to explain why he needed his chain back. Apparently there was a rumor going around that he had been robbed for his QB chain. He wanted to clear the rumor fast. His street credibility was at stake. I still wouldn't give him the chain, so he cursed me out and then stormed out of the house.

Although the summer was near it's end, it was just the begining for Shawn and I. When Shawn called and invited me to his cook out and I was so happy to hear from him and accepted without hesitation. I had put Shawn on hold for too long and seeing him was always one of the high points of my week. He also said that my friends were more than welcome. I ended up inviting Risa, Tarja and Danae. Rennette was practically living with Cey at this time, so she did'nt need a formal invite. I told my friends that it was Cey's BBQ since the cookout was held in the courtyard and Cey lived right across from Shawn. I knew that if I told them the truth it would have turned into a block party. Word would have traveled faster than lightening. When we arrived, the BBQ was well underway. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Shawn was busy being a good host while Ty Ty maintained grill duty.

It was'nt long before Cey had joined us in the court yard. He said hello and shook his head. I'm sure he was thinking about the big fight on Shelter Island. "Cey, you're not going to say hi to Tarja?" I asked. "That's Tarja? I didn't recognize her without her scarf and switch-blade." he said. Tarja and I both laughed then made our way through the BBQ. Shawn and I exchanged glances every chance we got. Shortly after our arrival he came over and made sure everyone was having a good time. How unexpectedly sweet he had turned out to be. We didn't hug or greet each other like we would normally do, because no one knew about us and I wanted to keep it that way.

I couldn't help but notice this one particular girl at the BBQ playing Shawn real close. She gave the impression that they were some what involved. I recognized her from a few videos, maybe a dancer; either way I know I had definitely seen her before. All throughout the evening, Shawn kept motioning for me to go up to his apartment. I shook my head NO! each time. It wasn't safe and I wasn't going to put myself out on a line like that. This went on for a good while until finally he came over to me and whispered. "Meet me upstairs in my bedroom. I'll go first." "Are you crazy?" I replied. "What if someome see's me, you are playing yourself". Two minutes later, I did what came natural,and slipped away and made my way into Shawn's apartment and upstairs to his bedroom. What can I say, I'm a risk taker.

When I entered the room, Shawn was already sitting on the bed. I closed the door behind me and sat beside him. After a few minutes of kissing and groping, the door opened. It was the video chick! She barged right into the room, grabbed a set of keys from the window ledge and stormed out. She seemed pretty pissed off, she was ice grilling so hard that her face looked like it was stone. Shawn and I both looked at each other. She looked at him. My face read "Nigga if you make one move, I am so deading you." He sat there perplexed. Now I was pissed and it wasn't because he had another chick, but because I had a man. The fact that she was able to walk in on us like she did had me vexed. After she stormed out of the room, I got up, fixed myself and went back down to join my friends. "Where have you been? Danae asked. I've been looking all over for you." "I was in the bathroom." I replied. "I don't think so." "I just came from the bathroom." Danae would not let up. "Then, I don't know how you missed me, now where is everybody, it is time to go" I was pretty pissed!

Later that week, Tarja called. She wanted to inform me of the new rumor "Hey girl, it's me listen, I just got off the phone with my sister and she that she heard that you and Jay-Z are seeing each other." I was at IHOP at the time, eating breakfast with Destiny and Nas and almost threw up. I knew I shouldn't have went to that damn BBQ. Of course I denied it. What the fuck? Things were just getting back to normal as far as the Allen rumor's were concerned and now here I am about to be back in the frying pan. I played it cool. until we finished eating. But once we got home, I was a bag of nerves.

Nas was trying to be extra, extra nice because he wanted his chain back. That was another rumor heavy on his mind at the time. The next morning when Nas left, I called Shawn. I could not wait to get him on the phone. When he answered there was no beating around the bush. I told him about the rumor and asked if he had mentioned me to anyone. "Of course not Carm". He lied. I let him know that it was quite obvious where the leak came from and as a result he would be on time out until further notice.

In the meantime, Risa was slowly coming out of her shell. She had'nt gotten out much since the suicide attempt. We still talked a lot and I think my stories inspired her to some degree. I couldn't wait to introduce her to Shawn, once he came off punishment that is. I knew they would get along and just maybe he had a friend for her. In any event, she was ready for some action. Tracey called and invited me to a "Total" video. The video was being shot at a park in Long Island, so I decided to bring Risa and her daughter along with Destiny and I. Tracey and I hadn't seen each other in a minute and was looking forward to seeing her. It was difficult staying in touch once we both stopped working at Capitol, but we tried. It was beatiful day on the Island. When we arrived to the video shoot, the park was packed. I remember Biggie showed up with Charlie Baltimore and Junior Mafia. Faith was also there. That's when I noticed Puff. I smiled as he walked over. We greeted one another with a hug and kiss on the cheek. Then he asked if Destiny could do a scene with his son Justin for the ending of the video. It was really cute, they hugged and kissed at the end. Real innocent and sweet. When we returned home, Destiny was so excited and couldn't wait to tell Nas about the video. I honestly didn't think it was a big deal, but Nas was pissed. What ever

Excerpt From Nas's Baby Mama's (Carmen Bryan) Book: It's No Secret

I read the excerpt from the book, and i found it very well written, interesting, and informative and decided to share it with you guys. By the way, the name of the book is- "It's No Secret: From Nas To Jay-Z, From Seduction To Scandal...A Hip-Hop Helen Of Troy Tells All". That is a really long title, but for short, it is called- "It's No Secret. I would like to update you a little on the issue before you read the excerpt. Her name is Carmen Bryan and she stated dating Nas around 1994, and they had a child (Destiny) out of that relationship that same year. That was the same year Nas dropped his first album- "Illmatic". After the baby came, they broke up, and they have been on and off since then, till Nas found out she was sleeping around with Jay-Z in 2001...That was the real reason for the Nas and Jay-Z battle...that was the fire behind "Ether".



Read the excerpt below-

"Carm, is he talking about you?"

Nas's insistent voice penetrated the fog in my head. I must have picked up the ringing telephone in my sleep. Had it awakened our daughter, Destiny, too?

"What?" My bedside clock read midnight. It was 3 A.M. for Nas in New York. Uh-oh. Whatever prompted this call was troubling enough to keep him awake.

"I keep hearing about this Memphis Bleek song with Jay-Z. It's supposed to be about you."

The song was news to me, but at the mention of Shawn's name my heart sank down to my stomach, which tightened into knots. I sat up in bed and tossed aside the silk comforter. With the movement the diamond on my left hand caught a silvery ray of moonlight. I took a deep breath and calmed down. Nas and I were finally getting married. This was no time to panic.

"What song?" I asked, as neutrally as possible.

"'Is That Your Chick.' Carm, it's getting harder and harder for me to ignore the rumors about you and this dude -- "

"They are just rumors, Nas." I put on what I hoped was a persuasively reasonable tone. "People talk. I put up with rumors about who you're supposed to be with all the time. Foxy, Beyoncè, Mary J. Every week they're saying it's someone new. You're just going to have to charge it to the game like I do."

Nas was silent. I could almost hear him balancing it out in his mind. On one side, there was my comforting explanation. A big part of him wanted to believe it. On the other hand, there was the growing weight of his suspicion. Nas wasn't exactly buying my little speech, but he let things drop for the moment. We hung up and I lunged for the bathroom, where I was sick.



Nas was very competitive in that he had two part-time jobs: he spent half his time talking up himself and the other half talking down others. In public, Nas tended to be more low-key and aloof than other entertainers. But at home, he was extremely opinionated and vocal about his peers' artistic efforts. Even if he was cool with someone personally, Nas always had a raw comment about their music. For example: in my opinion, Foxy Brown is the most talented female MC. Most will agree Foxy wears the crown, hands down. Not Nas. "You could just throw a few ingredients in a bowl, stir, and come up with another Foxy," he would rant. He had criticism of just about anyone. He would say Ja Rule was biting DMX's style, or Fat Joe was corny. These reviews always led up to the same point: "There is no real talent out there." The only lyricist Nas considered to be in his league was the late B.I.G. Nas's battle with Jay-Z was as much one of words as of the heart. I'd started seeing Jay finally doing to Nas what he'd been doing to me for years.

Nas and Jay-Z always had this bizarre competition. Nas would make comments to me like, "I don't remember that nigga being no ill drug dealer." In fact no one with any real credibility could confirm Jay-Z's "back in the day" drug dealer/baller status. Exaggeration is standard in the music industry. But according to Nas, Jay-Z had no merit to his claims and not one defender.

"Carm, this nigga Jay is so shallow," Nas would say. "He's a surface MC. He's plastic on stage. That's bad enough. But he doesn't even know what he's talking about. He hasn't done half the shit he's talking about in his rhymes. I don't believe him. Period."

Still, I couldn't imagine what might have motivated this "Is That Your Chick" song. Naturally Shawn would appear on Memphis Bleek's single -- a fellow artist on the Roc-A-Fella label. And the song certainly could have something to do with me. Throughout our clandestine relationship Shawn had made many references to me in his lyrics. But he had never said anything negative or explicit and had never used his relationship with me to taunt Nas.

This was turning into an urban soap opera with me in a leading role as the femme fatale. I had to hear this Memphis Bleek song. After a few calls to friends in New York, I found someone to play the song for me over the phone. It went "How foul is she? And you wifed her" and talked about how he put the condom on "tighter."

At first I thought, Psss . . . I don't know who Shawn's referring to, but he damn sure ain't talking about me! The lyrics were rather racy and described a type of liaison that was the exact opposite of our relationship.

Shawn's disparaging lyrics gave no indication of the solid friendship we'd shared over the years. Not to mention the fact that it took a good year before we even became lovers or that I had recently been pregnant by him -- 'cause he didn't wear a condom at all, let alone tight enough.

After listening to the song, it was evident that the record was designed to take a direct stab at Nas, making me a casualty of this ongoing and highly publicized strife.

I tried to put things in perspective and take it like a hard-nosed realist, but I couldn't feign callousness. Shawn's actions were a complete disappointment. Instead of being hurt, I was enraged. I knew what I had to do before this thing went any further. I had to bring Nas up to speed. It was time to reveal the truth, once and for all.

Throughout the next day, Nas gathered evidence that the song referred to me. That night he called back for another round of questions. As I quietly deflected them, I walked by Destiny's room to make sure she was asleep, then headed downstairs. I walked down the stairs with the cordless phone to my ear, my forehead breaking out into a sweat. My heart was racing, my breathing became heavy and my stomach was in knots. I even said a quick little prayer and turned off all the lights as if darkness provided an escape.

After some anxious pacing between the bathroom and kitchen, I ended up in front of my bathroom mirror, in darkness. My reflection was a vague silhouette, just barely visible. I was so tired of misrepresenting myself, of sneaking out, of lying and denying the truth. Of course, Nas had long done the same thing. It had been a rough and rocky nine years for us. But for all our drama, we were inextricably linked -- we had a daughter and deep, deep history together. I couldn't let Shawn belittle Nas as a man. Nas deserved to have a fighting chance.

"Nas, it's true." My words tumbled out. "The rumors are true. I have been seeing Jay-Z."

"Carm, how could you?" Nas asked in disbelief. "Why that nigga? I can't believe what you're telling me right now."

"Nas, I'm sorry." I choked out my apology as I started to cry. "I am so sorry." I had always thought that when this day finally came I would feel vindicated. For so long I had craved the taste of bittersweet revenge. Nas would finally feel what I had felt over the years. But this was completely different. I felt horrible, not for my actions, but because I had hurt Nas and he was suffering from tremendous heartache. It just wasn't what I'd envisioned.

Nas was unmoved by my sobbing regret. He wanted details. "How long have you been fucking with this dude?"

"It's been a minute," I answered. Even though I'd resolved to tell him everything, it took a while to get my courage up.

"How long is a minute, Carm?"

"Like five years."

"Five years! Five years, Carm? What the fuck is wrong with you? What were you thinking? You mean all this time I been hearing rumors about you and this nigga, brushing them off like, 'Nah, not Carm. She may do her thing but she would never disrespect me like that. . . . Where did you meet this nigga at?"

"We met at a club in the city. It started as a friendship. Was for a year before we slept together."

Nas sucked his teeth. "I don't give a fuck if it took you ten years to sleep with him. You're supposed to be my wife, that shit wasn't supposed to happen, Carm! I don't deserve this. I want to know everything! You ever been to his crib?"

"Yes."

"You ever been to a hotel with him?"

"No. We always hang out at his crib."

"Did you ever take my car to go see this nigga?" I thought to myself, What kind of question is that? But I continued to answer.

"Uh huh."

These intimate details would give Nas enough material to spin some elaborately jealous story lines in his mind. Still, I had to answer the questions to prevent his imagination from getting the best of him. He would drive himself crazy with speculation if he didn't have this chance to grill me.

"Does he hold you at night?"

"Yes."

He hesitated. I realized what he really wanted to ask. Guys may feign disinterest about the matter, but they're all anxious to know: Is he bigger than me? For the moment Nas avoided the size question.

"Did you go down on him?" he asked.

"Once."

"Once, I don't believe that! You're such a fucking slut! I can't believe you sucked that nigga's dick, Carm. Come on, you're gonna tell me you only did it once. You're such a fucking liar."

"It's true. You can ask him."

"What? Ask him? Carm, I'm gonna kill that nigga! I fucking hate you!"

Nas hung up on me. I called back. He just kept screaming through his extensive vocabulary of derogative terms: I was a slut, a whore, a dirty bitch and more. He hung up, but then immediately called back, hoping to find some release in another diatribe. It had the opposite effect: Ranting only sustained his sense of violation, kept his feelings raw. We went back and forth with a few more rounds of confession and condemnation until he finally stopped answering the phone. Nas was done with me for the night. Maybe forever.

I turned on the bathroom light and looked in the mirror, still crying. Tears seemed to be washing away my features, making an anonymous mask of my face. So I had finally confessed to Nas. I looked at myself a little more closely. It was time for me to get real with myself.

I was crying tears of frustration. Shawn had stripped me of the opportunity to divulge our relationship in my own private way. I was mortified that Nas found out in such a public manner. But that's the way it goes down in a love triangle, the unholiest of trinities.

I stared in the mirror until I finally stopped crying, then washed away the residue of my tears. Facing the truth gave me a new clarity. Self-realization smoothed my forehead and conviction strengthened my jaw. I was naïve enough to believe the uncovering of my affair with Jay-Z would bring closure to my relationship with Nas. I was ready for it to end.

 But it wasn't the end. In fact, it was only the beginning.


WOW! I love the writer who put this together for her, he has a way of keeping you reading, and yet informing you. By the way guys, don't ever think all these celebrities write their own books, they always have ghost writers. This was perfectly put together though...at least, so far.