Thursday Night- we were on our way to NJ to meet Allen and Marlon. I was so excited and could'nt wait to see to get there. I had butterflies just thinking about being with Allen. I felt very safe in his presence, especially after that night at the Palladium. The more I thought about him, the more anxious I became. A two hundred and fifty mile distant was the only thing keeping us apart. I floored it the whole way to Atlantic City. I was pushing 75mph. Danae, didn't say a word. She sat in the passengers side quietly.
It was a little before midnight when we arrived. We valet parked and entered the hotel. The lobby was filled with ball players. The 76ers, in the flesh. "Wow this is basketball camp!" I thought! As we approached the front desk a few players tried to holla at us. We were both flattered, but Danae especially, loved the attention. She suddenly, had a permanent switch in her hips and even added extra lipgloss. I, on the other hand was focused. I knew who I came to see! I put everyone on mute. After we picked up the key that Allen left for us, we made our way to his suite. I don't know why I was so nervous, I was also praying that when we got to his room that it would be empty, just in case I had to use the bathroom.
I swiped the magnet key and entered. The room was empty and the buttlerflies were gone. Whew! I could breathe again. Since the room was vacant, Danae and I decided to do a little snooping around. First we looked in the waste basket for things like;condom wrappers, phone numbers, strands of hair on the pillows, lipstick on towels, extra toothbrushes, and shit like that. In the midst of the search, without warning the door opened. It was Allen and Marlon. I quickly played it off like I was putting my bags in the closet. "When did y'all get here?" Allen asked. "Just a minute ago." I replied. He grabbed me and gave me the biggest hug and kiss. It felt good to be in his presence. The drive was definitely worth it. It was obvious that we both missed each other, we couldn't stop hugging and kissing.
For the remainder of the evening, we all sipped on Cristal, ordered room service and enjoyed each others company. Allen and Marlon cracked jokes just about all night. We had the best time. The evening started to mellow down when out of no where Danae shouted "So Chuck, whats up with you and this Foxy bitch?" "Huh?" Everything just stopped! I couldn't believe Danae was blowing up the spot. Foxy was definitely number one on my shit list, but there is a time and a place for everything and this was not the time, nor the place to discuss a Foxy beef. Besides just the mention of her name blew my high. Ugh fucking Danae! Allen responded, "Nothing, I met her one time". I watched Allen's body language closely. Danae went on ." Well, I heard her on the radio and she said that you and her were an item and that you bought her a diamond ring and a necklace". Allen jumped out of his seat quick. "Get the fuck outta here, I don't even know that girl" That's when I interjected, "Well she be dropping your name, like she knows you." Whatever innuendo's Foxy or the media tried to portray was abruptly shut down. Allen was on fire. "Look, I said I don't know that girl, I saw her one time at a jewelry spot in Manhattan and we were introduced. That girl don't know me and I don't know her! She can go ahead with all that other shit." Marlon joined in. "Man these damn rappers be bigger groupies than the regular damn groupies."
It was'nt long before we were back on track and having a delightful evening. I was still pissed that Danae opened her big mouth, but then again, I was relieved at the outcome, given the new circumstances. Allen obviously didn't know Foxy and I had had just about enough of her. The bottom line… Foxy was jealous of me. The night was winding down and Danae and Marlon left. Allen and I were finally alone. It was like we both were on the same page, because the minute Danae and Marlon disappeared it was on and poppin! I undressed slowly as he watched. Then he disrobed. His body was sick! He was lean with perfect muscles and natural cuts. He had a lot of scars all over his body, which turned me on even more. He was like a warrior, so rough and had the battle wounds to prove it. He stood naked on the edge of the bed and looked damn near edible. I felt his eyes caress every part of me. I wore a sexy pearl white thong with a matching bra. He was licked his lips and kept his eyes glued to me. After a few moments I was completely naked and my legs were wrapped around his motions. Our lips kissed, hands touched, tongues surfed and juices flowed. Before the night ended we had indulged in four rounds of pure animalistic sexual pleasure.
I was wide open. However as much as I wanted to, I never lost sight of reality. Without any warning all of this could end and I was very much aware of that. I knew there were boundaries. Allen pulled me closer to him and we fell asleep as the sun came up. I woke up a few hours later and he was gone. I had slept so hard that I didn't hear him leave for practice. I jumped in the shower, got dressed and looked for Marlon and Danae. After finding them we went to the mall and shopped for a few hours. When we got back to the suite, Allen had returned from basketball practice. Perfectly timed, he had just gotten out of the shower. I couldn't help but stare at the water beads trickling down his body.
Nor could I could wait for Danae and Marlon to dismiss themselves. Once they were gone round five was in effect. In the middle of our session, Allen asked "Why Nas ain't marry you yet?" I wasn't sure how to respond so I said what came to mind naturally, "Well if he did, I wouldn't be here with you right now." "True." He replied with a smile. We spent the rest of the afternoon napping. That evening we ordered dinner and then hit the casinos. Allen gave me a stack of cash to gamble with, which I split with Danae. He and Marlon headed in one direction and we in the other. Danae and I found a comfortable spot at the Black Jack table and gambled the night away. I had a winning streak, then lost it. At the end of the night, I had broken even. Danae played two games and pocketed the money I had given her. Allen and Marlon weren't having much luck at at the crap table, so they wrapped it up and we all went back to the hotel and crashed.
Allen woke up early and went to practice as I slept in. Later on I met up with Danae. She didn't look so good. Her face was really pale and I could tell something was wrong with her. She mentioned she didn't feel well. Danae rested and Marlon and I hit the Mall. Marlon was my nigga! He was so laid back and down to earth. We got along great. When we returned Allen was back from practice and happy to see me, I might add. Danae on the other hand, had a major attitude. She is very territorial when it comes to her men and was actually angry at that fact that Marlon and I went to the Mall together. What ever Danae! She eventually brushed it off and was back to her normal self. For the rest of the day the four of us watched movies and drank champagne. Danae and I painted our nails while Marlon and Allen played a few games of dice. This was our last night together and I wanted to make the most of it.
When Danae and Marlon left I slipped into a sexy little negligee which ended up on the floor two seconds later. We spent our last night in Atlantic City doing what we did best. The next morning I was awakened by the beeping sound of my pager. It was 7:30am. I picked up my pager, half asleep. It was Nas paging from his mother's house. I looked over at Allen was still asleep.
I didn't bother calling back, I'd have to get up soon anyway and start heading back to New York. The past few days were so wonderful, but the reality was, I'd soon have to face Nas and the madness. Allen started shifting in the bed. It wouldn't be long before he would wake up. I stared at his face as he layed there on his back. I could kiss him over and over and over again. "Good morning." He whispered and gave me a kiss. That quick I forgot about Nas. Allen was very affectionate and couldn't seem to get enough of me. I absolutely loved that.
We had to squeeze in a last minute quicky and then it was time to go. Once we hit New York, I dropped Danae off, then called Mrs Jones. Nas answered. He didn't ask any questions, he just told me to get a hotel suite and he would meet me there in a few hours with Destiny. I went straight home and packed a few things for me and Destiny, then checked into a suite by Lagaurdia Airport. I called Nas and he arrived alone about an hour later. "Where's Des?" I said. I was nervous as hell. "She feel asleep so I left her at my mom's crib." He responded. "Oh, I wanted to see her. I really miss my little Nana. I missed you too.". I added. "Where were you this weekend Carm?" he said with a serious tone. "Huh? Oh, I told you that I was going with Danae to her family reunion, slash BBQ in Pennslyvania." I couldn't even look him in the eye. "Well why couldn't I reach you on your cell phone?" Then he flipped. "You wasn't in no fucking Pennslyvania with Danae. Who were you with Carmen? Just tell me the truth and I won't get mad." The truth was, Nas was beyond mad. His nostrils were flaring and his face was tight and beet red. I had no choice but to stick to my story. I even told him that he could call Danae to verify. "Carm, do I look like a complete idiot?" he yelled.
After about an hour of intense interrogation Nas rolled up a blunt, smoked and calmed down. I even took a few pulls. My nerves were so wrecked at that point. Moments later, Nas was taking off his clothes. "Oh No!" I was ready for anything but sex. I couldn't reject him, so I went along with it. Besides I pretty much knew the routine. When ever Nas returns home from touring he wants to have sex first and then talk about everything else that happened on the road and at home while he was gone.
In the middle of our love making session, Nas caught a crazy attitude. "Something doesn't feel right!" He said. I went along with it and replied "You're, right, something definitely doesn't feel right." I was prepared to flip the script on him. The whole episode was such a turn off and a complete disappointment compared to my last couple of days. I turned over, snatched the covers and pretended to have an attitude as well. Nas and I didn't speak for the rest of the night. Instead, I rewound and relived the wonderful weekend that I spent with Allen and friends. Surprisingly, Shawn ran across my mind. I hadn't spoken to Shawn in about a week and wondered just what he was up to. I made a mental note to call him in the morning, then fell asleep.
The next morning while Nas was still asleep, I quietly dragged his jeans into the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and went through his pockets in search of his cell phone. Got it! Foxy's number. Nas woke up about an hour later and was still pissed. The first words out of his mouth were "Carm, are you gonna tell me who you're seeing or what?" "I already told you, nobody." He cursed me out like I was a complete stranger. He called me all types of bitches, whores, sluts, liars, etc.. Now I was pissed. He had a hell of a lot of nerve as much as he cheated. "First of all you're never home and you never take us anywhere. You're always in the streets hanging out with your stupid ass friends. Maybe if you spent some quality time with your family, there would be no room for suspicion." I screamed. "We're not married, I don't see no ring on this finger. According to your father, we're not obligated, remember?" I had to reminded Nas, that what's good for the goose is also good for the gander. My little speech didn't mean much to him. The bickering was endless and I was emotionally drained.
Later that night, I dropped Nas off at the studio and picked Destiny up from Mrs. Jones. Once Destiny was settled in bed, I grabbed the phone. It was time to make a phone call. The phone rang a couple of times and then some dude answered. "Can I speak to Foxy?" I asked. She was on the other end in less than two seconds. "This is Carmen, look bitch, I don't know what you're problem is but, you don't know me, so stay the fuck out of my business." I could hear the suck in her breath from the verbal assault. A few moments later she whimpered "What the fuck are you talking about?" "You know exactly what I'm talking about. What do you have to gain by telling Nas anything about me Allen Iverson? Bitch, you don't even know me and as a matter of fact you don't even know Allen." I barked. "I do know Allen."she claimed. I cut her off in mid sentence, completely ignoring her attempt to respond. "No, you met him. There's a difference." I said. Condesendingly she replied, "Well I told Nas that you were probably just a one night stand and not to sweat it; and you're right, I don't know you, so I don't owe you shit, Nas is my nigga." "One night?" I laughed. "Bitch, you wish you could get one call, let alone one night, stay out of my mix bitch." Click! She hung up on me. I didn't feel the need to call back, she got the point.
A few weeks later things seemed to be back to normal. Nas was in and out of the studio and I was doing me and raising our daughter. Everything seemed cool, but I wasn't really feeling one hundred percent like my self. Could it be because I was missing Allen? The truth was I was really missing Shawn. I decided that I would play it safe and for the next couple of weeks played the crib close. Nas was still questioning me about my infedelties and it was becoming quite tiring. One evening while doing laundry, I picked Nas's pants up from the floor and his pager fell out. I could hear Nas running up the steps as I viewed the numbers on the small screen. I knew he was returning for his pager so I picked a random number and started dialing. A chick answered! By this time Nas had entered the bathroom. I handed him the phone, still holding the pager. Nas looked puzzles, but none the less, took the phone. "Hello, who's this?" he said. When I heard a females voice through the reciever, I snatched the phone. "How do you know Nas?" I said. The chick on the phone went on about some business that her and Nas were entertaining and some proposal bullshit. I wasn't trying to hear it.
Meanwhile Nas wore this stupid ass look on his face. He could tell I was mad and things were about to get serious. Nas snatched the phone from my ear and attempted to hang up with the girl. It was clear that he was angry and I could feel a rumble about to come on. Before he could swing first, I went in my back pocket and pulled out my pepper spray. I sprayed Nas down as if he were a pitbull. Some how he still managed to get a hold of me and we started fighting. The spray had really taken Nas by surprise and he was doing a lot of coughing and wheezing so naturally I took advantage of having the upper hand. A few minutes later, Nas's two friends Wiz and Spud came running into the bedroom and tried break it up. Now they were coughing and wheezing. I just kept on swinging. I had Nas's QB chain wrapped around my fist, trying to rip it off his neck.
After I finally got Nas's QB chain from around his neck, the fight was over. Nas coughed his way out the door, all the while screaming "You are fucking crazy." After he left I opened all the windows and aired the house out and as crazy as things were a few minutes earlier, I managed to get the house back to normal; before picking Destiny up. I wanted to be with my daughter. Nas called my cell phone and cursed me out. He claimed that I was a nut, and that I need psychiatric help, etc... I apologized and we agreed to meet in front of Rennette's building. Although it was obvious that Nas was doing his thing, I couldn't help but feel bad for making a complete fool out of myself. So an apology was in order. That was my "bad." When I arrived Nas got in my car and we talked for a long while. After our conversation, we went upstairs to Rennette's apartment and picked up Destiny, who was wearing one of Allen's T-shirts as a nightgown. "Rennette, you know that's Allen's T-shirt", I laughed. "Oh well."she chuckled. After Nas and I left, we agreed to go home and put the past behind us.
Things were going good for a while with Nas and I. Foxy eventually told Nas about our conversation and of course he was heated! "Carm, why would you stoop to her level?" You are supposed to be bigger than that." He was right. So I promised to ignore her from now on. According to Nas, Foxy was a lonely, insecure, little girl that liked anybody that showed her any kind of attention. She had a crush on Nas, Jabari, Wizard and everybody else that came through. Nas could not stand Foxy, to be honest no one could. Everyone that knew her or had met her at some point always had something negative to say about Foxy. Her personality was the absolute worst.
The following week Rennette called. She was having problems with her boyfriend Cey. He was cheating on her and Rennette was pissed, but more than anything, she was hurt. He told her that he was going out of town to visit his brother. It was a lie. In fact he was on his way to Shelter Island with some chick. Rennette was in desperate need of a ride. I honestly was'nt in the mood for the drama, but I obliged anyway. Rennette is my girl and she needed me and I wanted to be there for her. We picked Tarja up on the way and arrived at the house on Shelter Island about two hours later. As soon as we drove up we spotted Cey and the chick in the front room through the window. She wore a bra with shorts and Cey had on a T-shirt and sweat pants.
Rennette was on fire. Before I could completely stop the car and park, she jumped out and ran to the front door. Cey was already at the entrance double locking the door. He must have spotted us pulling up into the drive way. Without hesitation Rennette reached down, picked up the biggest rock she could find and threw it through the glass door. Glass shattered everywhere. She reached inside, unlocked the door and busted in. Tarja and I followed behind her. The chick looked at Cey, like "What the fuck is going on?" Before anyone could blink, Rennette punched the girl in the face then turned around and bitch slapped Cey. The chick started swinging on Rennette and that's when Tarja and I jumped in. Rennette was busy pounding the hell out of Cey, who was on the floor at this point trying to block her punches. After a few minutes, the fight stopped. Cey tried his hardest to explain, but Rennette was not having it. In the meantime the girl he was with had tried to sneak in another room and use the phone. Tarja spotted her immediately and pulled her switch blade from her back pocket and cut the phone wire.
The fight was back on. Rennette was back on Cey. Tarja was back on the girl. I was in between both fights, making sure my girls had the upper hand in the situation. Rennette finally let up and said "Cey, pack your shit, because this little vacation is over. We are dropping this bitch off and then me and you are going to finish this later." So they both packed up their things just like Rennette instructed and we all left. Cey drove and Rennette rode in the passenger seat, while the girl sat in the back. Tarja and I followed in my car. We were'nt worried, we knew Rennette could handle both of them. It was crazy, first we all got on the Ferry, then we dropped the chick off in the city.
I felt so ridiculous. What was I thinking? When Rennette and Cey drove off I waved goodbye feeling horrible. I spent the rest of the day playing and coloring with Destiny. Nas came home later that evening and asked for his QB chain. I wasn't ready to give it back and I couldn't say why, but I wanted to hold on to it for some reason. "Nah, you can't get that back." I said with a smile. "But Carm I thought we made up. Why won't you give me the chain? Give me my chain." "Nope." I still refused. He was heated and ran upstairs to our bed room and started searching through everything. I hid the chain in the basement behind the washing machine. I knew he'd never find it. Then he started to explain why he needed his chain back. Apparently there was a rumor going around that he had been robbed for his QB chain. He wanted to clear the rumor fast. His street credibility was at stake. I still wouldn't give him the chain, so he cursed me out and then stormed out of the house.
Although the summer was near it's end, it was just the begining for Shawn and I. When Shawn called and invited me to his cook out and I was so happy to hear from him and accepted without hesitation. I had put Shawn on hold for too long and seeing him was always one of the high points of my week. He also said that my friends were more than welcome. I ended up inviting Risa, Tarja and Danae. Rennette was practically living with Cey at this time, so she did'nt need a formal invite. I told my friends that it was Cey's BBQ since the cookout was held in the courtyard and Cey lived right across from Shawn. I knew that if I told them the truth it would have turned into a block party. Word would have traveled faster than lightening. When we arrived, the BBQ was well underway. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Shawn was busy being a good host while Ty Ty maintained grill duty.
It was'nt long before Cey had joined us in the court yard. He said hello and shook his head. I'm sure he was thinking about the big fight on Shelter Island. "Cey, you're not going to say hi to Tarja?" I asked. "That's Tarja? I didn't recognize her without her scarf and switch-blade." he said. Tarja and I both laughed then made our way through the BBQ. Shawn and I exchanged glances every chance we got. Shortly after our arrival he came over and made sure everyone was having a good time. How unexpectedly sweet he had turned out to be. We didn't hug or greet each other like we would normally do, because no one knew about us and I wanted to keep it that way.
I couldn't help but notice this one particular girl at the BBQ playing Shawn real close. She gave the impression that they were some what involved. I recognized her from a few videos, maybe a dancer; either way I know I had definitely seen her before. All throughout the evening, Shawn kept motioning for me to go up to his apartment. I shook my head NO! each time. It wasn't safe and I wasn't going to put myself out on a line like that. This went on for a good while until finally he came over to me and whispered. "Meet me upstairs in my bedroom. I'll go first." "Are you crazy?" I replied. "What if someome see's me, you are playing yourself". Two minutes later, I did what came natural,and slipped away and made my way into Shawn's apartment and upstairs to his bedroom. What can I say, I'm a risk taker.
When I entered the room, Shawn was already sitting on the bed. I closed the door behind me and sat beside him. After a few minutes of kissing and groping, the door opened. It was the video chick! She barged right into the room, grabbed a set of keys from the window ledge and stormed out. She seemed pretty pissed off, she was ice grilling so hard that her face looked like it was stone. Shawn and I both looked at each other. She looked at him. My face read "Nigga if you make one move, I am so deading you." He sat there perplexed. Now I was pissed and it wasn't because he had another chick, but because I had a man. The fact that she was able to walk in on us like she did had me vexed. After she stormed out of the room, I got up, fixed myself and went back down to join my friends. "Where have you been? Danae asked. I've been looking all over for you." "I was in the bathroom." I replied. "I don't think so." "I just came from the bathroom." Danae would not let up. "Then, I don't know how you missed me, now where is everybody, it is time to go" I was pretty pissed!
Later that week, Tarja called. She wanted to inform me of the new rumor "Hey girl, it's me listen, I just got off the phone with my sister and she that she heard that you and Jay-Z are seeing each other." I was at IHOP at the time, eating breakfast with Destiny and Nas and almost threw up. I knew I shouldn't have went to that damn BBQ. Of course I denied it. What the fuck? Things were just getting back to normal as far as the Allen rumor's were concerned and now here I am about to be back in the frying pan. I played it cool. until we finished eating. But once we got home, I was a bag of nerves.
Nas was trying to be extra, extra nice because he wanted his chain back. That was another rumor heavy on his mind at the time. The next morning when Nas left, I called Shawn. I could not wait to get him on the phone. When he answered there was no beating around the bush. I told him about the rumor and asked if he had mentioned me to anyone. "Of course not Carm". He lied. I let him know that it was quite obvious where the leak came from and as a result he would be on time out until further notice.
In the meantime, Risa was slowly coming out of her shell. She had'nt gotten out much since the suicide attempt. We still talked a lot and I think my stories inspired her to some degree. I couldn't wait to introduce her to Shawn, once he came off punishment that is. I knew they would get along and just maybe he had a friend for her. In any event, she was ready for some action. Tracey called and invited me to a "Total" video. The video was being shot at a park in Long Island, so I decided to bring Risa and her daughter along with Destiny and I. Tracey and I hadn't seen each other in a minute and was looking forward to seeing her. It was difficult staying in touch once we both stopped working at Capitol, but we tried. It was beatiful day on the Island. When we arrived to the video shoot, the park was packed. I remember Biggie showed up with Charlie Baltimore and Junior Mafia. Faith was also there. That's when I noticed Puff. I smiled as he walked over. We greeted one another with a hug and kiss on the cheek. Then he asked if Destiny could do a scene with his son Justin for the ending of the video. It was really cute, they hugged and kissed at the end. Real innocent and sweet. When we returned home, Destiny was so excited and couldn't wait to tell Nas about the video. I honestly didn't think it was a big deal, but Nas was pissed. What ever
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